….even though he asked “nicely” while leaking apple juice and moral superiority?

I (7M) was deep in a Minecraft build—like, diamond pickaxe level focus—when James (3M), aka The Toddler With No Chill, approached. He was wearing his “I’m about to ruin your vibe” face and clutching a half-deflated juice box like it was a detonator. He said, “Can I have it now?” in a voice that sounded sweet but had the emotional weight of a hostage negotiation.

I said no. Calmly. Respectfully. Like a gentleman who knows his screen time rights.

James blinked. Then he said, “But I said please,” as if that phrase was a magical spell that unlocked all electronics. I reminded him that “please” doesn’t override ownership. He reminded me that Mimi lets him “have turns” whenever he wants. I reminded him that Mimi also thinks fruit snacks count as dinner.

He flopped onto the couch like a fainting goat, whispering, “You’re ruining my whole life,” while dramatically wiping his forehead with the back of his hand like a Victorian widow. Papa tried to distract him with a train video, but James wanted my tablet because “it smells like Jack.” Which is either the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard or a sign that I need to shower.

Mimi offered him a granola bar and a side of passive-aggressive commentary: “Jack, don’t you want to share?” I do share. I share LEGOs. I share oxygen. I do not share my tablet mid-boss battle.

Now everyone’s acting like I committed war crimes because I didn’t hand over my device to a sticky-fingered toddler who thinks “asking nicely” is a legally binding contract.

So… AITA?

• For standing my ground like a hero—or just the last sane person in a juice-soaked kingdom?

• Defending my tablet like it was the last slice of pizza at a sleepover?

• Refusing to negotiate with a toddler holding a juice box and emotional blackmail?

• Choosing digital dignity over sticky diplomacy?