Category: Jack
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Narrated by Sir Crumbleberry, Guardian of Parental Dignity Scene: Late afternoon. A suburban park. The sun begins its slow descent. The winds whisper of bedtime approaching. But for the wild creatures visiting the park today, the battle has only just begun. We observe: two cubs—Jack, aged seven and equipped with logic and defiance; and James,…
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By Jack Okay, so here’s what happened. It was Christmas morning and we were already, like, twelve presents deep. Wrapping paper everywhere. Mom looked like she was running a marathon in the living room. James was yelling about something that sounded like “BLOCKS! BLOCKS! BLOCKS!” because Santa gave him more magnetic tiles. Which was awesome……
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Listen. I know what they say about me. “Elfie’s been real B‑A‑D this year.”“Elfie’s out of control.”“Elfie needs to calm down before Santa puts him on a performance improvement plan.” And to that I say: Correct. Because I, Elfie J. McSparkle, am not here to sit politely on a shelf like some kind of decorative…
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Mom is bouncing. Not like jumping-bouncing. Like excited-bouncing. Like her voice is doing cartwheels and her eyes are sparkly and she keeps saying things like “This is magical” and “You’re going to love it.” She’s holding the remote like it’s a wand. She’s got snacks lined up like a Hogwarts feast—popcorn, juice boxes, and those…
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It was the night before Monday, when all through the home,Not a creature was stirring—except on Mom’s phone.The calendars juggled, the schedules all tight,She whispered her worries alone in the night. The scissors were missing, the glue sticks were gone,Yet she knew their location, like dusk knows the dawn.The backpacks were ready, the lunches all…
