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Category: James

  • AITA- Seatbelt Rage & Breath Controversy

    🚗 AITA for Demanding a Car Ride While Protesting My Car Seat Like It Was Made of Betrayal Foam?By James, Age 3 (Drama Leader, Certified Breath Victim, Lap Justice Advocate) Hi. It’s me. James. I’m three years old and emotionally turbulent. I love car rides. I romanticize them. I yell “LET’S GO ON AN ADVENTURE!”…

  • McChaos & McConsequences

    My fellow Millennials,We gather here today—not in peace, but in powdered sugar and confusion.Because we are no longer just raising children.We are raising our parents. They have entered their Sixty-nager Era—a phase no parenting book warned us about.They are sixty-year-olds with retirement accounts, zero curfews, and the chaotic energy of a teenager who just discovered…

  • A tale of one boy, one hand, and zero tolerance for pineapple.

    I am not available for questions. I am not available for negotiations. I am busy. My hand is the canvas. My hand is the muse. My hand is the moment. I have outlined it in red, in green, in something called “midnight blueberry.” I am halfway through “electric tangerine” when dad appears with a spoon.…

  • A Tale of Power, Possession, and Playground Politics

    It began innocently. The backyard sun shone like a spotlight on destiny. Birds chirped. A breeze rustled. And then—James saw it. The Stick. Not just any stick. This one was worthy. Majestic. Weathered from noble tree-fall. Thin enough for waving, thick enough for status. A stick forged by fate and squirrel drama. James froze mid-skip.…

  • The Art of the Line-Up: A Manifesto by James, Age 3

    Welcome to my gallery. You may call it a hallway, a kitchen, a bathroom threshold—but I call it The Grand Speedway of Order. Every vehicle in this household, from Lightning McQueen to the rogue Duplo dump truck, has a destiny. And that destiny is to be lined up with precision, color harmony, and emotional intensity…