Category: Life
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Posted by u/ChunkMasterFlex (3 years old) So I (3M) have recently realized that names are just suggestions and I, being a visionary, am here to fix them. My mom, known in this house as “Mom” or “Ashley” or “The One Who Says ‘No,’” was wearing a shirt with hot dogs on it yesterday. Naturally, I…
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📓 The Royal Pookie Journal, Volume VII: Lessons from the Throneauthored by Pookie, Calico Sovereign and Reluctant Life Coach Entry #732: My Impact on the Lower Beings Today, as I perched regally upon the back of the couch (my throne), surveying the chaos of my human domain, I felt reflective. Soft piano music played. A…
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By Jack Okay, so here’s what happened. It was Christmas morning and we were already, like, twelve presents deep. Wrapping paper everywhere. Mom looked like she was running a marathon in the living room. James was yelling about something that sounded like “BLOCKS! BLOCKS! BLOCKS!” because Santa gave him more magnetic tiles. Which was awesome……
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I am very busy. Like, important‑meeting‑with‑the‑CEO busy. My trucks — all of them, every vehicle I own, from the loud ones to the fast ones to the ones that just look cool when you squint — are being lined up across the kitchen floor and into the playroom. This is not chaos. This is strategy.…
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Grandpa and I were standing in front of the Christmas tree, looking like we were about to film a holiday commercial for “Chaos & Sons.” The lights were twinkling, the presents were stacked like a small mountain range, and Grandpa had that look — the one where he’s pretending he’s in charge. He leaned down…
