Category: Motherhood
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Posted by u/ChunkMasterFlex (3 years old) So I (3M) have recently realized that names are just suggestions and I, being a visionary, am here to fix them. My mom, known in this house as “Mom” or “Ashley” or “The One Who Says ‘No,’” was wearing a shirt with hot dogs on it yesterday. Naturally, I…
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By Jack Okay, so here’s what happened. It was Christmas morning and we were already, like, twelve presents deep. Wrapping paper everywhere. Mom looked like she was running a marathon in the living room. James was yelling about something that sounded like “BLOCKS! BLOCKS! BLOCKS!” because Santa gave him more magnetic tiles. Which was awesome……
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By James “I Heard Water and I Must Enter” Chunkerson, Age 3, Defender of Bathroom Companionship Let me explain something.She walked into the bathroom.Alone. Bold choice. She said, “I’ll be right back, just taking a quick shower.”I said, “Interesting. So you’re attempting emotional abandonment now?”She closed the door. LOCKED IT.I stood outside with my blankie,…
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🍼 by James, Age: Just Baby Enough to Get Away With Everything The sun set. Rules dissolved. And I arrived. Mimi answered the door like a goddess in slippers. I made eye contact. She gasped—correctly—at my cuteness. Within moments, I was in her arms, the scent of lavender and rebellion wrapping around me. Dinner? Optional.Bedtime?…
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(James’ POV, age: three, drama level: Code Red) Look. I’m not trying to start beef with Mom. I’m not even trying to be rude. I’m just… setting boundaries. You know, toddler-style—with flair. We were having a good day. I was stacking trucks, yelling at clouds, living my best life. Then Mom tried to kiss me—on…
