Featuring Tequila (Right), Little Tequila (Left), and One Very Overworked Toddler King
James climbed onto the bed with the gravitas of a man about to deliver a State of the Union address.
He surveyed his plush council.
He inhaled deeply.
He exhaled like a disappointed CEO.
James:
“Ladies… gentlemen… stuffed citizens… we have a crisis.”
Tequila stared ahead, stoic.
Little Tequila leaned slightly to the left, which James interpreted as attitude.
James:
“First of all, I would like to address the rumors.
Yes, I DID see someone chewing on my sock.
Yes, I DO know who it was.”
He pointed dramatically at Little Tequila.
James:
“You.
Don’t look away.
We all saw it.”
Little Tequila remained motionless, which only fueled James’s righteous fury.
James:
“Second order of business: the Great Snack Famine of This Afternoon.
I asked for goldfish.
I received… nothing.”
He threw his hands up to the heavens.
James:
“NOTHING!
Do you understand what that does to a man?”
Tequila blinked (in James’s imagination).
James:
“Exactly. Thank you, Tequila, for your support in these dark times.”
He paced, tiny feet stomping with the intensity of a general preparing for war.
James:
“Third: bedtime snuggles.
Attendance has been… inconsistent.”
He glared at both dogs.
James:
“I will not name names.
But one of you — Little Tequila — fell off the bed last night and did not return to your post.”
He paused for dramatic effect.
James:
“This is a monarchy, not a vacation.”
He climbed onto a pillow throne, raised his hand, and declared:
James:
“Henceforth, I decree:
– Snacks shall be plentiful.
– Snuggles shall be mandatory.
– And no stuffed citizen shall chew socks without written permission from the crown.”
He softened, just a little.
James:
“And finally… thank you.
For being here.
For listening.
For not talking back.
For being the best Tequilas a king could ask for.”
He placed a hand on each plush head.
James:
“Court is adjourned.
Let us feast.
Except Little Tequila.
You’re still on thin ice.”
