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  • Yuletide Delusions: One Mom’s Descent into Garland Madness

    It began innocently. A wreath here. A scented pinecone basket there. A twinkle light or twelve strung across the stairwell “just for ambiance.” But slowly, the transformation took hold. My Pinterest board bloated like a snowman on a salt shaker. I stopped saying “no” to glitter-based projects. I found myself whispering to rolls of ribbon…

  • Pookie’s Royal Diary: Day 837 in Captivity

    Dear Journal,Today began with the usual indignities. I woke in the sunlit throne I allow them to call “the arm of the couch.” From this vantage point, I survey my kingdom — a land littered with crumbs, socks, and questionable decision-making. The humans, my loyal albeit misguided subjects, bustled about performing rituals like “packing lunches”…

  • The Night Before Motherhood

    It was the night before Monday, when all through the home,Not a creature was stirring—except on Mom’s phone.The calendars juggled, the schedules all tight,She whispered her worries alone in the night. The scissors were missing, the glue sticks were gone,Yet she knew their location, like dusk knows the dawn.The backpacks were ready, the lunches all…

  • AITA for Repeatedly Throwing Mom’s Perfectly Folded Towels on the Floor Like I’m Conducting a Fabric Rebellion?

    Posted by u/ChaosCuddles (age 3, elbow activist, towel renegade) Okay so here’s the deal. Mom folds towels. Like, a LOT. There’s stacking, fluffing, and this whole ritual where she lines them up like they’re auditioning for a spa commercial. And me?I unfold them.All of them. With flair. With purpose. With the kind of dramatic toss…

  • Lord of the Dips: The Fellowship of the Queso

    I met cheese tonight. Not the yellow square kind. Not the stringy kind. This was special cheese. It lived in a bowl and let me dip things into it. Chips. Fingers. Daddy’s straw. A spoon.. I dipped. I dunked. I painted my plate with it. I baptized my chicken finger. I whispered to it. “You…