James approached the ottoman with the slow, deliberate steps of a man who was moment an away from giving a life altering speech.

He sipped his juice box like it was a stress coffee.

He stared at his council — Tequila (Right), Little Tequila (Left)… and now…

A third.

A newcomer.

An unvetted citizen.

James inhaled sharply, the way a king does when he’s about to deliver a decree that will shake the kingdom to its plush foundations.

James:

“Ladies… gentlemen… stuffed associates… today marks a historic moment.”

He gestured toward the new Tequila with the gravitas of a judge unveiling a surprise witness.

James:

“We have initiated… a THIRD Tequila.”

Tequila (Right) remained stoic.

Little Tequila (Left) leaned even further left, which James interpreted as deep suspicion.

The Third Tequila stared blankly ahead, as all great political figures do.

James paced, juice box dangling from his hand like a prop in a courtroom drama.

James:

“First order of business: identity verification.

Who ARE you.

Where did you come from.

Why do you look like Tequila but also… not.”

He squinted, leaning in so close his nose nearly touched the newcomer’s.

James:

“I will get to the bottom of this.”

He turned to the original Tequilas.

James:

“Second order of business: loyalty.

I expect unity.

I expect cooperation.

I expect zero sock chewing during this transition period.”

Little Tequila remained motionless, which James took as defiance.

James:

“Don’t test me today.

Not on Third Tequila Day.”

He climbed onto the couch like it was a throne built specifically for dramatic proclamations.

James:

“Third order of business: seating arrangements.

Tequila (Right) stays on the right.

Little Tequila stays on the left.

Third Tequila… you will sit in the middle until further notice.”

He paused, letting the weight of this decision settle over the room like fog in a medieval battlefield.

James:

“This is not favoritism.

This is not punishment.

This is… logistics.”

He took another long sip of juice.

James:

“And finally… I want to say thank you.

To all Tequilas.

Old, little, and newly initiated.

This kingdom grows stronger with every plush citizen.”

He placed a hand on each dog’s head — a ceremonial blessing.

James:

“Court is now in session.

Snacks will be distributed shortly.

Except Little Tequila.

You’re still on probation.”